Lost Beyond Hope

So I went SHOPPING with my mother, which turned into more of an adventure than I could possibly have imagined.

So we arrived there, I was well armed, I had my phone and my pack of softmints, which I am now sorry to say are missing, but I wasn't alert, and that led me to look for socks with my mother. I thought it would be ok, what's wrong with looking for socks? But then as sudden as falling over, disaster struck, and I found my self neck deep in women's lingerie! It was a nightmare.
I didn't know which way to turn.
I ran around for several moments, before collecting my wits and scanning the area by squinting through my lashes. I located a safe spot betweenthe mirror and the pyjmas where I couldn't see anything that would scar me for life. I then commenced to text my friends, I texted three of them, hoping for some guidance, perhaps they had once been in a simillar situation. But alas, out of three, only one replied, and instead of guidance, the SMS contained only jeering at my situation.
Not very mature but at least it was a distraction.
I attempted to hurry my mother, whilst staying as far away from the item's themselves as possible, but as we got to the desk, disaster struck.
The previous night, my brother had bought a picture on Ebay, which he had used mom's card for. He hadn't put her purse back in the handbag, so it was that we found ourselves in marks and sparks, trying to return a load of clothes we bought with her credit card and therefore needed her credit card to return the clothes. Thereafter we emerged from the lingerie section with £80 worth of gift vouchers.
So then we had to shop! Shop hard dammit!
Mom told me to run along and find some shoes to buy, but instead I found myself facing a fate worse than before. I was lost, lost in male lingerie! It was terrible, everywhere I looked I saw things I didn't want to see. I had wandered in somehow and now was trapped. It called for drastic action. Closing my eyes, I ran wildly and didn't stop until I felt linolium under my trainers, showing that I was back on the main walk way. I found the shoe display and a satisfactory pair of shoes, but when I showed them to my mother, she said they were too broad and we would have to go to Birmingham. I don't mind, those shoes were satisfactory, these shoes might be great!

The rest of the shopping trip was spent trying to spend the gift vouchers, it was a little pathetic if you ask me.