Oooooone Hundreeed!

I gets no emails no more. It makes me cry in my heart.
The last four emails I gots are as follows:

I had to delete this because it was ugly.

How depressamundo are they?

Anyway.

The other day, I had a slight adventure. I was ouside with Olive in an attempt to get the worst of her moulting over outside instead of getting it off when I stroke her and either ending up with a ball of fluff in my mouth, (Go figure) or little fluff balls that float around the floor for weeks, being strangly evasive of the vaccum cleaner.
I was reading a book on the bench, which was rather pleasant when I realised that Olive was looking very pointedly above my head. I turned to see what was above my head, and I couldn't see anything, except for the fence. I turned back to point this out to my furry friend when she wiggled her bottom and I ducked, because when Olive wiggles her bottom it means she is preparing for a grand flying leap. Sure enough, she performed a grand flying leap right over my head and not quite onto the fence. She sort of reached it with her claws but not with the rest of her, and the rest of her is a significantly large mass. There was a short mad scramble but she got herself onto the fence. The problem was the fence was surrounded on my side of the garden by bushes, and had lots of obstacles in the way of just walking along it eg, THORNY PLANTS.

Olive was starting to look a little worried, so I decided I ought to rescue her. She's not really a street cat at all, I mean she's a house cat and she runs away from bees so she's nothing to boast about. I tried as I wanted but I couldn't get past the big bush infront of her current location, so I moved along a bit and tried to coax her, it woked, but I couldn't reach her. So going further along I gingerly pushed the spikey branches of a tree away and fearlessly plunged into the greenery in an attempt to rescue my dear olive. The idea was that i could get close to the fence and then move along it towards olive, but unfortunately she had other ideas and moved away from me. I considered just sitting there really still until she came close again but then I remembered the great spider clan that loved to sit in that bush. I got out of there sharpish. Once I had emerged it because rather obvious to me that Olive had gotton off the frence because I couldn't see her on it and I could hear some rather suspicious noises coming from the rose bush. I knelt down, and sure enough there was OLIVE!

I was about to crawl in and "rescue" her, when I noticed she was wiggling her bottom in a, I'm going to take a flying leap way. She was also looking at me in a "You look like a bird yum" way and then-

To do this retelling justices I must slow down time.

There I was, crouched in the grass looking for all the cats to see, a bird..(somehow) and Olive, apparently mistaking me for a bird was about to pounce on me. the second Olive moved she was shooting towards my head, to avoid her, I moved to the left, but unfortunately, she had never intended to harm me and moved to the left to avoid me. In short there was something of a collision.

And if it hurt me I hate to think what it did to her...