Lipgloss and Yield Signs

There are problems, when your hair forms a triangle after you wash it. When you step out of the shower, and after giving it a once over with the hair drier, it vaguely resembles a slightly wavey egyptian pyramid.

So obviously I straighten it. I wouldn't do it if I thought it was damaging my hair, but it just can't be, because I have so much hair it wouldn't matter if it did.

Once you have the perfect hair, it's inevitable that you will have to find the perfect lipgloss. Whether or not you wear makeup, you should always, as appropriate, wear either lip gloss, or eyeliner. In this way, you can manage to look decent and tidy, withotu looking slutty. On suitable occasions, such as visiting the king, light foundation also might be applied.

A common problem is when a stray wind blows your perfect hair into your perfect lipgloss, which by nature is exceedingly sticky. Then you not only get a dollop of lip gloss in your perfect hair, but in some dire situations, you may end up with a clump of not so perfect hair leading to a not so perfect appearance. The solution to this common problem, is of course to keep your hair cut in a fashionable bob, leaving no strands long enough to reach your lips. Other, more natural methods include tilting your face sky ward, and blowing any strands that dare to enter within 3 cms of your lips. Unfortunately, there are always side affects. The former might cause neck problems, the latter might cause you to resemble a blowfish.

One of the greatest problems in life, is that no one knows enough about protocol. I imagine that if every household had a big book of easy access protocol guidelines, everything would be alot easier.
Think about it.
You'd never have to worry about being over dressed, or under dressed, you'd know whether it was rude to serve someone when they had already pointed out that they didn't want to be served.
The latter became something of a problem for me today.
I wont go into detail about who our guests were, sufice to say they arrived at an awkward time, when my mother was out, and due to our relationship, I was unable to entertain them. This lead to much problems, as they wanted to speak to my brother. My brother and I get on very well, and we make a good team when we speak to people, he provides the intellectual comements and I provide the comfortable small talk. In this way, we manage to charm most people. Unfortunately, when left alone, both of us make mistakes. I tend to go overboard, make inappropriate jokes and basically chatter about anything, and he tends to mutter, murmur and generally retreat into himself.

The question that arose, is that what do I serve. My mother wasn't at home, which led me to the task of being the hostess. I had already asked, and they had said they didn't want anything, but even if they didn't really want anything, it would be inhospitable if I didn't present them with something. Failing that, at least it would give them something to do, and stop my brother from being completely at a loss. But what to give them. They had already pointed out that they didn't want tea, so therefore giving them tea would qualify as a stupid thing to do, and possibly, they might take it as an insult. Tea was out of the question. Could I just present them with some water? But that was too bland. I couldn't just give them water, I might as well not give them anything at all. I decided that fruit juice was a good idea, but what kind? I supposed that mango juice might be a bit pretencious, and we didn't have much else, so I settled for good old orange juice. I had to open a new carton, else they would have had to drink that pulpy bit at the bottom, but I think it was the right idea. Now a new problem threatend to stop me in my tracks. As there were only two guests, and so therefore only two glasses of orange juice, how would I serve it. I could simply hold the glasses and go in, but that would be a little gaunche. Therefore I produced a tray, and after covering it with a doily, I placed the two glasses there. That was all fine and dandy, but it pointed out that it was a bit of a waste to get the tray out if I was only going to put two glasses on it. And even so, I could hardly give them a drink and no food. Food was another tricky issue. I couldn't fry them anything, and I doubted they wanted anything fried anyway, it would be far too heavy. I could give them chocolate, but what if they suffered from diabeties, or were simply dieting? It would certainly lead to awkward questions and therefore I avoided it. Biscuits maybe, but it had to be the right kind. In the end, I hit gold, and decided to give them a few dates on a plate.

After putting all of this on the tray, and balancing it quite well I thought, I presented it to the company, and left the room. Although they only ate one date, and probably only finished their drinks out of politeness, the fact remains that I had fufilled my duty and the host, and therefore I felt rather proud of my achievements.

Rather than tidy up the mess that my rather haste preparations had caused, in true teenage style I decided to leave it for my mother. Although now, rethinking that idea, as I w ill probably end up tidying it away anyway, and would recieve more credit if I were to do it without being asked. After much contemplation I have decided that maybe I should tidy it away. I'll do it in just a minute.