NATURE!

Here are two photos I took yesterday.

Do you know the story about the tulip? Everyone knows it really.
Basically, Sarah bought a tulip bulb, well, the guy didn't charge her because she looked so pitiful, buying a single tulip bulb. And her mother didn't believe it would grow, but it DID.
We've been placing bets on what colour it would be, and so HERE IT IS.

It's PEACH. With white on the edges. Isn't it goooorgeous? I think so too. I'm so proud, my first tulip!! I hope it grows back next year!

Here's the second photo, it's a bad one, you might have to open the picture in a new window to make it big enough. See the fence covered in ivy? The bit above the reflection of the picture of the sunflowers has a baby fox sleeping on it!! It was SO CUTE. I had to take a picture, even though it's rubbish quality.

Now Open to the Public

I've decided that since I'm a bit difficult to get a straight answer out of, it might be an idea to let all my friends have access to my blog, previously the address was a badly kept secret. However, now all my friends know it, so I'll be keeping my entries a little more politically correct. No more talking about my sleazy sex life, mkay?

So, ah, Welcome, I guess :)

The Gardener Diaries. Part Two

I could hardly sleep last night, thinking about the lack of composting being done in my composter. I mean it's like having a dish washer and putting your dirty dishes there but not turning it on. Or having a laptop and not using it. The lack of productivity is just heinous.

Olive woke me up this morning at nine o'clock, making a sound like a food processor for reasons unknown. But enough of this, to the point.

At approximately three forty, I put on my coat, welllies, outdoor headscarf and headed for the door.
Now my plan was to empty the composter of the little detritus it contained, dig up the earth and replant it, before refilling it with it's contents, cursing the gardener the whole time. The first problem I encountered was lack of shovel.

The Lack of Shovel Problem
Basically, lack of shovel put a bit of a hole in my plans. I could hardly dig up the earth with my little spade, nor could I effectively plant the composter.
First stop was the shed.
Or should it be: The Shed.

Otherwise known as the End Of The World For Junk We don't Want to Get Rid of. You know what I'm talking about. When you have items that you don't use and don't want to clutter up your room, they first go to the landing, then maybe to the kitchen. Sometimes they'll get shoved in a cupboard, sometimes under someone's bed. Eventually they get sent to either the loft or the shed. In my house, it's the shed.

I unlocked the door and peered in, trying to ignore thoughts of creepy spiders creeping around and maybe jumping on my head and creeping around there, and instead very quickly did a search for a shovel. None was apparent. I braved the shed for a few more seconds, before turning tail.

I know, I showed cowardice in the face of danger. If this was Lord of the Rings, I would have been all "SURE SAURON! Have the shiny ring! Just don't make me go with the creepy spiders, mkay?!"I'm fairly disgusted with myself, I can tell you.

But I still didn't have a shovel, so I had to go to get one from the neighbours, unfortunately I was obstructed by momom.

Me: I'm going next door.
momom: why?
me: to get a shovel
momom: oh no, you're not doing anything like that.

Momom was concerned for my wellbeing, thought that shovelling compost was a dangerous activity, etc. She tried to convince me to let the gardener handle it. She was SO on his side. Obviously he'd got to her first. Luckily I explained carefully (with necessary drama) the situation and she became a late convert to the Sarah V Gardener cause, becoming quite vocal and enthusiastic by the end, and let me go get the shovel.

At the neighbours house
me: Please can I borrow your shovel?
neighbour: what for? the compost?
me: I'm going to kill someone! (elderly couple walk past and stare at us, I smile manically)
neighbour: Well the shovel might dent a bit, I suggest a knife.

I did get the shovel, however.

End: Lack of Shovel Problem

So I picked up the unsteady composter and pretty much threw it away, letting the grass cuttings inside flop over. Then I set to work digging a hole to put the composter in, for added contact with the worms.

The first problem was ..well I don't know how to use a shovel. I tried stepping on it and letting it sink into the soil like they do on tv, but I wasn't heavy enough and nothing happened. Eventually I settled for bracing myself against the shed (the outside isn't scary) and pushing against the top of the shovel, and in this way managed to get it in a bit. Eventually I made something of a hole. I began to sympathise with the Gardender a little bit. I mean, I was motivated by .. justice.. really, and even I didn't dig for as long as I could have. I mean the ground was SOLID. And my back really started to hurt, and the shovel was heavy! The Gardener isn't motivated by justice, he's motivated by money to spend half the year in Australia, as is his custom, and since he wasn't being paid more for the composter, it's understandable.

Eventually the composter was buried, the compost refilled, and the shovel returned.

Phew. At least it's clear that I won.

Like to see him mess with me again.

The Gardener Diaries.

I do not know what my problem is! I am SUCH a mess for so many reasons. I mean I'm in good spirits because you know, it's all so stupid it's funny, but any minute now I'm going to have a breakdown. At least it'll be the hysterical laughing kind. I mean I'm kinda looking forward to it, you know? I bet my mum isn't.

The damn gardener and I are having a war. He doesn't know that I'm having a war with him at this point. I don't want to tell him because he'd either
a. Get annoyed and stop mowing our lawn,
b. get upset and stop mowing our lawn or
c. not hear me over the sound of the lawn mower.

It's like this, the gardener and I have never been on good terms, because he always appears in the garden when I'm not wearing my headscarf, because I don't wear it in the house, obviously. So he pops up all the time and I'm like "ARG! *falls out of chair."
But now it's personal.
See, I have a composter. And by that, I mean I have a hollow plastic cylinder with a lid and no bottom. You're supposed to 'plant' it in the ground, so the worms can get in , and it'll be steady an shit. HOWEVER the gardener, last year, when I got it, set it up before I could, and by set it up, i mean he just PUT it on some rocks (like you're supposed to do that!?!?!?) and was like "yes, it's done. "

I am so sure.

So then this year, he not only emptied it without first telling me but he AGAIN set it up, and put a load of grass in it. The problems are many fold.

1. You are supposed to PLANT IT. As I said! If you don't plant it, it wobbles. You know what I have now, a wobbling composter.
1b. In addition, the lack of planting, and the uneven ground means that there are some gaps between the bottom of the composter and the ground. So when I put in scraps, I get eggshells rolling out of the bottom.
1c. In addition to both of these points, the composter lacks stability if you don't 'plant' it. Therefore it's difficult to mix the contents of it without having the composter tipping over and spilling vegetable peelings all over the garden. Since mixing the compost is pretty much the second step in the important two step plan of composting, expecting compost without mixing is like expecting a snow day if you live on Mercury. It's not gonna happen.

2. You are supposed to 'work the earth' beneath the composter, so that the worms can get up from the soil into the compost and turn cucumber peel into soil. HOW ARE THE WORMS TO DO THIS IF THE GROUND IS ROCK HARD? Does he expect the worms to wear hard hats? The worms will not do this, I guarantee it.

On top of this, I mean hello, it's my composter. I get that he's a gardener (although I doubt he has a phD in horticulture) but it doesn't mean he should just DO things. I had a leaflet and everything! It totally told me what needed doing! He didn't even read the leaflet! (He didn't even ask if I had one.)

And I accepted this all last year, but he's done it AGAIN. And he's started filling it with grass so I can't even take it away, work the earth below and plant it properly. so he thinks! I will not be stopped by something so insignificant. Instead, I'm going to EMPTY the composter and start from scractch. He came today, so he wont be back for a few days.

Teach him to mess with my compost.

My Birthday Party!

Transcript from a conversation that took place half way through typing this entry.
(we were talking about how we only gave the Smiths four slices of cake, but Alex's girfriend Cara is there so maybe it should have been five)
me: well if I had a boyfriend they wouldn't give us more cake.
mum: you don't have a boyfriend.
me: I might.
mum: you don't.
me: I could have a boyfriend.
mum: I know you have a girlfriend.
me: *panics* (YOU WHAT??????? HOW DOES SHE KNOW?)
mum: Olive are you Sarah's girlfriend?
me: *RELIEF* although now I think of it, as if Olive would be my gf. The idea is pretty stupid.

Today was my eighteenth birthday party! Tomorrow is my actual birthday but the party was today. The whole thing was a bit last minute, starting in the Easter holiday when mum bought me this really cute dress and I was like "hm, i should have a party to wear this at" and I'd been thinking of having a party but I wasn't sure what to do because of all the different friends I have and obligations to invite people I don't really like etc.
Anyway, on Monday, I asked people about days and we finally settled on Sunday, then on Tuesday I wrote invitations and handed them out. I invited Rachel, Kim, Nicola, Vicky, Fishy, Mohan, Ramjeet, Nandi, Mushana, Charlotte, Jeskirat, Hirah, Fatima, Alysha, Catherine, Neela, Abby, Kat and Minal. So like, twenty people. Before hand, I was freaking out because I'd only told mum I'd sent twelve invitations, which was true, however I'd also doubled some of the invites up, not to mention invited a few people verbally.
Today, first thing I woke up WORRIED, then I went downstairs and read some fanfic while I ate breakfast. Then I helped mum prepare! We'd gone super shopping to tesco and bought LOADS of food.
I made slices of carrots, cucumber and celery to dip in the dips, some cocktail sticks with olives and feta cheese, jelly butterflies and iced a cake. And I did lots of useful stuff in between.
Mum made Riaz and I samosas for lunch, then we went to this Sunday circle.
When we got back it was quarter past three and Rachel and Kim were supposed to come at half three, the others at four. I said goodbye to Riaz who was going back to uni, then I hopped into the shower.
I got out of the shower and Riaz and mum had left, and got into my dress (with jeans and a vest top underneath) and started talking to myself about how nothing was ready and freaking out a little bit cause Rachel and Kim weren't showing. I had just convinced myself I had to iron my vest stop, when they arrived and I pulled them in. They wwere like CALM DOWN SARAH, then Mush and Nandi called and were like "sorry we can't come" and I was torn between "well that sucks" and "at least now there wont be twenty people in my house."
Rachel and Kim set up base in my room, and helped straighten my hair and do my makeup cause I'm awful with it. Then Hirah arrived so I intro-ed her and proved that she's real!!
Hm, I'm not sure what happened after that. I went back downstairs and a few more people started arriving, Fatimah Junaid and her sister Asma, and then Vicky. I'd like to point out that even though I asked everyone to bring cushions, hardly anyone complied. Upsetting.

I opened a few gifts. Rachel made me this beautiful photo albumn with some great memories, and a lovely card as well, she ought to drop out and dedicate her time to that instead I say.
Hirah bought me a nice wall scroll, with Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi. I say Sakura but I'm really not sure she's there.. I was distracted by the others, obviously. Jeskirat arrived with chocolates which I will eat tomorrow, I suspect. Then Fishy arrived, although I think this is a bit out of order. I think they both arrived before the present opening, cause I remember fishy hitting my head with the wall scroll while I was looking at Rachel's gift.

Then, bizarrely, Rachel gave me a hat from her mum, which is like a cake with candles and plays "happy birthday" when you press the side. And I was wearing it and the door went so I sent someone to get it and they were like "there are children there!" and I was like "whatttt??? Children??" So I went there and it was Nasreen and her lovely children! I was so surprised! I mean yes on thursday I had repeatedly mentioned it was my birthday on monday, but I hadn't expected them to come and see me! They'd got me a lovely card. Hold on, I'll type it out.

"To Lovely Sara Moola on your 18th Birthday,

Happy Birthday Sarah.
Your a big girl now, seven years older than Maryam, ten years older than Haleema, twelve years older than Hamza and fourteen years older than Fatima. Ha ha ha. I know that would make you feel old. I hope you get what you want in your life and may Allah bless you with many more birthdays. Have a great day.

Lots o love, Maryam, Haleema, Hamza, Fatima and Family."

HOW SWEET IS THAT?!

Then the party continued, we danced in the rain a little bit, then we played table tennis. We ordered pizza chatted lots, spun around, raced etc. Good fun it was. I got pretty tired at the end though!!!

Anyway. When I started writing this I was kinda teary for two reasons. ONE I miss Riaz MASSIVELY, it just sucks that he doesn't live at home. I hate it. Two is my mum's card, here I'll type it out:

"A daughter brings happiness as she grows.
A daughter as lovely as you brightens every day in so many ways..
...and grows more and more special with every year..
So proud to have a daughter like you."

Anyway, I actually started crying and mum pretended not to notice.

So. A very fun day. :)

Wedding! Part Two!

So day two of the wedding was a bit more vague than day one, where there had been an aim at least. This time we went there and I was immediately shoved once again to the girls house, where I found them all putting on makeup and such. They took a while to get ready, and then we went back to the bride's house where momom was still and they said something like "all the girls come and eat!" so I went to eat and it was VERY good. But it was in a garage as usual, so I was damn cold and shivering. After that, we flitted into the other two rooms, which were thankfully warmer. Mum was in one room with the ladies and I was in the other with the younger girls.
The bride was putting henna for the young girls which was nice, I like to watch, it's calming, I feel. I chattted a bit with a few people, but mainly just sat. Despite being a little boring, it was fun

Then yesterday was the actual wedding. one of my mum's friends dropped off a green indian outfit for me to wear, which was nice enough because I didn't have any. We went at lunchtime to set the tables, which was a bit of a wasted effort because there certainly were enough girls helping, but oh well.
The wedding started at six, and we got there. Riaz kindly said I looked like I was an old woman. i was wearing contact lenses and very high heels.
Inside, I couldn't ACTUALLY see very well. We milled around a little bit, mainly me trailing after mum and trying to find things to do to keep myself occupied. Eventually Zainab (a girl I went on hajj with, married into a family my mum is friends with) called me over because she didn't know anyone. We ate the food which was pretty good. Then the girl that I met at the Mendi found me, and was like "HI!" and I was like "well hello there."
For some reason she really took a shine to me and followed me a round for most of the evening. I told her lots of jokes, and then she told me some but they didn't really make sense. Then she wrote down her number for me on a napkin and I gave her my phone number too. She was a really nice kid...called me this morning actually. What a sweetie.
Then the bride came to meet us all, she looked really nice, wearing all red and gold. it's not my thing, but she was working it. Then she left, and we hung around for no real reason, cleaning up a little. Then we went outside and Riaz said "sorry auntie, have you seen my sister?" to me, and I glared muchly. At home, everyone was in great spirits. It was a very fun night.


In other news, my aunt and uncle brought my birthday present today. I don't know what it is, but i heard my mum saying "don't encourage her" so ... how interesting.

Oh oh, and in Naruto! Sasuke was all "yeah, you suck," and then RAN OFF AGAIN. For goodness sake. They are SO in denial. ONE TRUE PAIRING!

Wedding

So about a month ago, mum told me I was invited to a wedding. The idea of a wedding is kinda annoying to me. Firstly, I never know who is getting married, like my mum is friends with them, and she drags me to see them all the time, but I don't know any of them intimately, and half the time I can't put names to faces. To be honest, I've known them since I was in nappies, so it's a pretty poor showing on my party.
Anyway, she did tell me who was getting married, but since the name held no significance to me, I promptly forgot. Luckily for me, I was able to get around that by asking simply about "the wedding" and never "so and so's wedding" which I personally think was quite ingenius.
The thing about muslim weddings, is they're longer than English weddings, and consist of many days. The first day is the mendi, where you put on henna. Actually the bride to be has it put on her, then her sisters, then her friends and finally the little kid in the corner draws a snowflake in the middle of her palm.

That's what I went to today, so I carefully stayed BEHIND mother, and let her lead to the house that I should have really known but didn't. And when we got in there, there were several aunties who quickly asked me if I wanted to go "to the other house." I politely enquired as to what was in the other house, and was told "everyone is there." So, it made me wonder who exactly all the people that were clearly in this house were. Anyway, they kept looking at me as though I oughtn't to be there, so I waited until a kid that I DO know was going (mainly through a mutual acquaintance: my cat) and then followed her. On the way, we talked about the one thing we have in common (my cat) and then arrived at the house which was again, familiar to me but don't ask who lives there.

Inside, I hung about in the hallway, trying to look as though I knew what I was doing, and observed that in the kitchen there was a chocolate fountain that no one appeared to be eating from. When I asked about it, they said they were going to take it to the lounge. There were about five people that I pretended to know, and then I went to the lounge. To my HORROR, the lounge was PACKED with people sitting and staring at the door that I just walked through. And NONE of the faces were familiar. Thankfully, as I wavered in the doorway, knowing that it would look ridiculous to leave again (and go where?) one of my mum's friends who I can bear talking to called me over.
The funny part is I was completely shocked to see her despite my mother having told me several times she was coming, but I'd blanked it out entirely.

I sat and chatted to her for about an hour or so, then I went to pray, and when I came back she had GONE, mysteriously, you know. Then I started watching this woman who's daughter was demanding that she did a henna pattern on her hand. HOWEVER, when the mother started, the daughter complained again and again and again until she took it herself. I amused myself by telling her the pattern looked like a. a duck b. a duck with many legs c. a cat d. a group of bees. Finally the mother asked me where I was from, and upon saying "sutton" she said : Oh! Are you Nafesa's daughter?
"Why yes, I am" I said. I HAVE NO NAME. I am known only as THE DAUGHTER.
Anyway, it turned out I knew her VAGUELY through my mother talking about her, but had never met her and we chatted for a bit.

THEN the original disappearing auntie's daughter returned and told me my mother wanted me, and then her son who is about eight, was like "comeooooon" and pretty much (okay not really at all) challenged me to a race, so I'm wearing this long denim skirt and since he had a head start it was okay to race properly, and FINALLY caught up with him, of course as we went past this group of adults. Luckily it was dark and I don't think they saw my face hahahahaha.

Back in the "Empty" house, momom and I ate with some other ladies, and then momom decided to sit down and PRAY in their house. I was like ... can't you pray in your OWN house?

So then on our way out we stopped by the "girls" house and these girls that I DO NOT KNOW were like "hi Sarah! Where have you been?" and I was all friendly and shizz and all the time thinking: who are you???????????

Then we went home and the boiler is bust.

What will tomorrow bring? I don't know.